My Name is Megan and I am a ____________

In the past year, since I began working at this job God has been dealing with me on so many issues. Like I like to call a few people jokingly, I am a problem child. Really I am. If you get right down to it, since Genesis 3 we've all become problem kids with these wicked little thoughts and selfish ambitions. I didn't start this blog to talk about how awful I am...actually I won't tell you most of my problems, but I'm going to start with one because I need to get it off my chest.
My name is Megan and I am a perfectionist.
There, I finally admitted it. And you know the first step toward fixing a problem is always this one.
It's always been there and maybe I'm not as bad as some people. I mean, in high school I had someone explain the difference between a good and bad "A." Still don't understand that one, but I know I'm not that bad.
My perfection boils down to a deep desire to control everything through busting my butt. Not as hard as some people, I've busted my butt through my life. High school there were late night spent studying and reading and whatever. High school really wasn't that bad. There was one week, the only moments I wasn't studying was when I was sleeping.
OK, that doesn't count because I had American History haunting my dreams. (Sidenote: I made a 4 on my AP US History test. For those who don't note AP, this is good.)
College I didn't work quite as hard. I did stress a lot and when it came to my major I busted it. But I didn't work as hard. I also worked a part time job. I didn't join the college paper because of marching band and making money.
I was able to buy my truck, thanks to God, when I got out with cash.
Perfectionism: I'm pretty sure I didn't work hard enough in college. Dude, I could've had straight A's and a 4.0 in college if I'd work harder than I did.
What about putting resumes out and working for that paper? Definitely not working hard enough.
Maybe if I tried a little bit harder I could do better.
It's getting bad though. I keep messing up and when it's pointed out I'm frustrated. God pointed this out today on my ride home from church this morning. The whole weekend has been bad on that note. It's been a great weekend, but it's been those moments when someone corrects me.
So, yes I have a problem and I'm praying to work through it. It's childish at times, even.
Please pray for me. Mainly cause I'm really going to try to change, but it's hard to quit when you're trying to be perfect.
Only Jesus is perfect. He's who I need to put all my faith in. He's going to put me in the right job. He's going to lead me to the right man.
Everything I'm doing now should be glorifying God, not myself. I can not do this on my own; my perfection says otherwise. He has me where I am for a reason and I'm tired of fighting it. How many people at my job are impacted by me if I'm trying to be perfect?