Now for the past couple of weeks I have been thinking more and more about God's will. It's always been something on my mind. Many times I have asked myself what is His will for my life? Now I think this has just been something I've been asking. Something I like to think would be nice, but really who has complete control. For a long time the answer has been me.
What's bad is I thought I was good at following? The thing is, I was up to a point, but then if it went off my path then I'm grabbing the reins. Like I was asking what newspaper should I apply for or help me with this interview. I didn't stop to ask "hey, should I be a reporter?"
Confession time: I did not stop and ask God if I should be a reporter. I didn't ask Him if I should go to Auburn. To get right down to it, I didn't even ask if I should go to college. I decided in seventh grade I would go to Auburn, major in journalism and become a reporter. Never did I take in consideration God's will. Not until now.
Now I can't say the past year has been because of my stubbornness of following my own plans. Sailing my own boat. Steering my own horse. Manning my own...you get the picture. Maybe this past year has been my big fish God used to grab my attention.
I can almost hear Him saying "OK stupid. You've had your own way long enough. It's time to give it to Me."
So I've been down on my knees a lot lately handing everything over. I think I'm starting to understand what He wants to. He's giving me only one step at a time. What's different is, yea I'm a little unsteady, but it's a good unsteady. I am confident His way is right. I've known it all along, but I've been hanging on to control. I'm tired of chasing my own dreams and coming up short. The last couple of years may have been a waste, but it's what I needed to get my attention.
Thank you God for refining me like gold and silver.
Proverbs 17:3
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